Tuesday, 17 January 2012

The Week in Squirrels

Last week four squirrel stories crossed the old squirrel news desk, and while none were worthy stories on there own all together they make for interesting blog filler.  It's the time of year when most squirrels are hiding and chowing down on their stash of nuts so stories are few and far between.  The stories that do appear are mostly worthless filler used to fill up newspaper pages and blog entries.

Is it a tailless Squirrel or a "squabbit?"

From somewhere in the US Called "Stafford County" we have this little bit of filler about a tailless squirrel photographed at a bird feeder.  One person posited that it might not be a tailless squirrel, but the rare "squabbit" a cross between a squirrel and a rabbit.  Squabbits are most often found cohabiting with the Australian Bunnyip and the North American Jackalope.  Here's the link to the story: http://fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2012/012012/01172012/677210  and here's a picture of the critter: 

As we can easily see it has squirrel ears, a squirrel ass and it's in a bird feeder eating bird seed the squirrel's favorite place to eat.  And as we all know squirrels often lose their tails only to have them show up at a later date as a unique conversation starting or squelching) necklace.For all we know this little guy might be the source of a fetching little beaded number himself.

Squirrel in the Road?  Give it a Chance!  (and not for becoming your lunch)

Squirrels on the road are a fact of urban life. Killing them or seeing dead squished squirrels is also a fact of urban life.  The little rodents are often placing hard shelled nuts in the middle of the road for cars to crack and then running out the eat the nutmeats.  So it's no surprise that a good number of them end up as brunswick stew, Squirrel tail jewelry, or a mere smear on the road. 

This writer,  http://www.redding.com/news/2012/jan/17/william-e-sundahl-squirrel-in-road-give-it-a/ however, would like to change that.They are lively beautiful animals and he would like to see fewer dead squirrels, especially the grey ones. Really?  Grey squirrels?   Beautiful animals? Not likely, especially after they shred my seedlings, eat my tulip bulbs and rip the insulation out of my attic.  He suggests that when a squirrel is running across the road that you hit the brakes and honk the horn.  Really?  Risk a serious accident -life and limb - the lives of people you don't know  -all for the sake of a squirrel?  A grey Squirrel?

There are several problems.  One:  According to the highway and traffic safety act if it's a choice between killing and animal and causing an accident putting human lives in danger then you must kill the animal.  It's illegal to swerve for ducks, dogs, geese, squirrels or anything that will not cause grievous harm to the occupants of the vehicle.  You can swerve to miss a moose, but you will be charged with careless or reckless driving if you get into an accident when you swerve to miss a squirrel. Two: squirrels are not in any danger of going extinct.  Urban squirrel reproduction rates ensure that the population will stay steady even with cars running over them left right and center.  Urban squirrels produce more litters per year than their forest cousins. Indeed they are so prolific that they are vermin in many areas of the city.

Lesson From Squirrels!

From the Wall Street Journal comes an article about an urban gardener who has troubles with squirrels in his bird feeder.  It's not really original -many other columnists have written about squirrel wars and they come up on my RSS fed quite frequently  -but this guys style or writing is lively and engaging: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203462304577136824006306652.html    and it's quite interesting as he recounts some of the many comment on how to eradicate squirrels from the face of the earth...or at least the bird feeder. He tries several options and finds them all wanting so he decides to live in peace and harmony with the critters knowing that they will make excellent fodder for future columns whenever it's a light news day. As in the following follow-up!   http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204257504577152992337948270.htmlThe most interesting part is the e-mailed solutions others came up with for the problem of squirrels versus bird feeders -including guns, dog, fishers (members of the weasel family, cayenne pepper and those little whirl a squirrel things.  The story includes a passage o telling why you should be careful that it's a squirrel after the feeder before using a squirrel-proof feeder. The article tells the story of a bird feeder, and a large black bear running away with a squirrel proof feeder in his mouth.  I assume the lesson from the squirrels is that human tolerance for the little rats only goes so far, while the rodent's tenacity is infinite. 

Franken-squirrel

Speaking of the standard news columnist scraping for a story this article is about dog versus squirrel.  The columnist named the rodent "frankenSquirrel" because SquirrelZilla has been done to death.  The story is told from the point of view of the dog, which makes it only marginally more entertaining that the Squirelzilla story two years ago told from the point of view of the dog's owner. And this story comes from Saskatchewan rather than whatever US state the last dog versus squirrel story I linked to.  Most I ignore because they aren't' that interesting and one can only post pictures of Dug from "up!" so many times before it gets old and tired.  So here's a link to the story: http://www.leaderpost.com/life/When+dogs+squirrely/6005627/story.html  You can read it, but the Wall Street Journal story is far more interesting and seriously, don't you have better things to do?  Like sort your sock drawer? Or watch football?

Tim Tebow=Squirrel Girl? 

Next we have an article that compares quarterback Tim Tebow to Marvel's Squirrel Girl, also known as The Most Underrated Character Ever!  except that Squirrel Girl actually accomplished things, as opposed to Tebow who has yet to live up to his hype.  In fact I think Tebow is the Anti-Squirrel Girl: The most over-rated quarterback in the NFL. Her's the link: http://www.newsarama.com/comics/tim-tebow-squirrel-girl-marvel-super-hero-120109.html 

 A Victorian Delicacy makes a come-back. 

According to the Times of Pakistan a gourmet delight dating back to the Victorian age is making a comeback in posh eateries.  The dish is one of our favorites: Grey Squirrel pie.  Apparently, according to this well researched article (being sarcastic) the demand for grey squirrel pie in the UK is so high that it's worrying conservationists.  This is quite odd because I get at least two stories a week telling how the UK is overrun with greys and trying to eradicate them.  They are a serious threat to the more docile and less aggressive native red squirrels and the greys have pushed the reds to the brink of extinction.  UK conservationists were encouraging the consumption of greys so that the reds could make a come-back. Her's the story from the times of Pakistan: http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2012\01\16\story_16-1-2012_pg9_2  and here's the counter argument from a UK newspaper: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-16530783  It's quite the debate in parts of the UK, and far too interesting for us to talk about today when we are focusing on filler rather than substance. 

And that's the round up up of a week's worth of squirrelly news stories. 

Posted by lincatz at 11:27 AM EST | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 11:45 AM EST

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